Breastfeeding at the Musee D'Erotisme

Yes, so this thing happened. My friend Maya was here and we decided it might be fun to go to the Musee d' Erotisme. Its right in Pigalle, near the Moulin Rouge and coincidentally walking distance from my apartment, thus making it a good place to visit with baby since its both bizarre and conveniently located.

What separates the Musee d'Erotisme from other sex museums is that it's French. Which is to say, yes, there's porn, and its in the middle of Paris's red-light district, but its also got aspirations to be a serious intellectual thing. There's an impressive collection of fertility sculptures and symbols from many countries - in fact, I learned a thing or two - most of the fertility symbols were phallic, natch, but there were a few that were all about the great Earth mother and her birth canal, including these oil lamps from Tibet carved in the shape of a vulva with the flame right on your hoo-hoo. Right on, Tibet!

Godzilla plunders a co-ed while Maya looks on.

There was also a floor with a history of Parisian porn and prostitution, and an exhibit of naughty cartoons. These were pretty tame compared to the exhibit of French supernatural erotic movies, which involved a lot of vampire fellatio - I wasn't totally ready for that, but hey. Vampires, as you might expect, have HUGE dicks. 

But its challenging to take a baby to a museum, especially on a very hot day. They get fussy, hungry, what have you. So, about half an hour into our trip through the porn show, Sophia needed to be fed. So I took a seat in the only seating area, very comfortably facing a loop of silent film porno movies that were surprisingly graphic (one involving nuns and dogs, people! Nuns and dogs!), and starting nursing my child. I should also mention that we had taken a walk in the Bois de Boulogne beforehand, so I was wearing yoga pants and a tank top and was looking a little sweaty.



However, I really did not care. This is what four months of parenting has done to me - I will pop out my boob almost anywhere, I don't care who is looking.

You would think, though, the Musee d'Erotisme would be a perfect place to breastfeed, wouldn't you? But guess who the ONLY other people were in the museum? Two college age dudes with their girlfriends - I'm sure the guys thought this would be a great "date" spot for Paris (subtle...) But unfortunately they were treated to a sweaty nursing woman with her squalling baby. I think I killed the moment for them as they beat a hasty retreat to the X-rated cartoons.

 Breastfeeding makes your boobs so un-erotic. They used to be one of my favorite parts of my body; now, they are a drink dispenser. I'm sure they'll go back to being sexual eventually, but not right now.

A strange exhibit that featured Mickey Mouse heads and naked Barbies

Surprise! I may have found the one way to put one over on the Musee d'Erotisme - toplessness with NO titillation.