So, today we will be talking about the curious and long-standing rivalry between the Brits and the French, as seen through the lens of the French version of the TV show TOP CHEF.
I know you have all probably read about how England and France hate each other, about hundreds of years of wars that occurred between these two countries, how Brittany & Normandy were occupied by thethe English for much of history, how deposed British royalty often made a home in Paris only to join up with the French to plot an invasion that inevitably failed, etc etc. Yes, these countries DO NOT like each other. It is VERY different than dislike/fascination that thethe French and Americans feel for one another. At the end of the day, French are both ANNOYED by thethe US and are FASCINATED by us - perhaps the way an uncle might be both annoyed by how much his nephew texts his friend on his iPad, but fascinated by how he manages to do all that new-fangled stuff on it. We are young upstarts, rude and uncouth but also innovators and full of energy, and this is both interesting and irritating to the French. However, with the Brits its more like deep seated sibling rivalry that is NEVER going away - both cultures have been around equally long, both enjoyed world dominance, both have significant cultural capitals - let's face it, they're basically EQUAL in terms of power, but they're still always gonna compete for who's the best in some kind of futile fight to the death.
Now that we're no longer brandishing broadswords, however, the two countries are left to fight over economic and cultural dominance, all with a big smile on their faces that hides daggers behind it. And NOWHERE was this more evident to me than when I watched a recent episode of the French TOP CHEF with Matt.
So, you guys watch TOP CHEF, right? Matt and I are addicted to it - and it's essentially same show in France, just with French chefs instead of American. theThe show, in case you're unfamiliar with it, takes roughly a dozen mid-career chefs and has them compete in different cooking competitions for an ultimate prize of $100,000 (or, in Europe, 100,000 euros) to open their own restaurant. Chefs are eliminated after each challenge, similar to most reality show formats, and the last chef standing wins. Matt found the French version because he is secretly the bigger fan of the show ... and its actually a very good way for us to practice our French.
So, in this show the challenge was: COOK TRADITIONAL FRENCH FOOD IN A WAY THAT ENGLISH PEOPLE WILL LIKE. That's right. The judges invited three English food critics onto the show, and the contestants had to choose randomly from the following list of "traditional" french ingredients:
Frogs Legs
Boudin Noir (Blood Sausage)
Horse meat
Lamb tongue
Andouillette ( Tripe and pig intestine sausage)
Snails
Now, I have personally eaten all of these and some of them (andouillette in particular) are definitely an acquired taste. I also want to say that many FRENCH people find some of these things gross. But, yes, they are a pretty good survey of the most difficult French foods to stomach - literally. Many of the chefs on the show hadn't cooked with the before and stared at their plates in bafflement. The girl who got Frogs Legs kept muttering "C'est degoutant, c'est degoutant" under her breath - "It's disgusting, it's disgusting."
BUT, here's what happened, which I found hilarious on a whole cultural level:
First - each chef bemoaned their choice, and then EACH ONE decided that the best thing to do would be to make a croquette - like a fried dough ball with some of the chopped up ingredient in it - because, as each one put it "British people like fried things". Seriously. I have to say that everyone made a croquette except the Boudin noir person and the horsemeat person. The guy who got SNAILS decided to make "Snail Fish & Chips" because - yes you guessed it - British people like Fish & Chips. And fried things.
Then the British critics were let in, and interviewed by the hosts. They first asked the Brits (who all spoke very decent French by the way, impressively) what French foods they disliked most. One said Frogs Legs, another said snails, a third said Andouillette (Because it smells and tastes like "Merde" - which is kind of true, at least in thethe smell part). The hosts smiled to themselves knowingly...
And this is where I realized that the show wasn't about cooking French dishes British people would like, but was instead about humiliating the English by making them eat things they found gross.
Then they sat the Brits down on the couch and brought the dishes out - many unidentifiable croquettes, which the Brits had to try, and then after trying they were forced to uncover a plate with each ingredient on it - "Do you want to know what you just ate? Look its a plate of FROGS LEGS! Ahahahaha!" When they got to the snail fish and chips and the andouillette, the English all looked green and one actually took out a toothbrush from his pocket and started brushing his teeth.
In the end, I think the Boudin Noir won - the chef had broken it down with some apples and onions so it kept its flavor but wasn't quite as strong - but I realized quickly that it wasn't really the chef who won, but rather the French winning by grossing out the English - AND THAT, my friends, is what makes for Great French Television!
VENICE TIPS
You also may remember that there was no letter last weekend because Matt and I were in VENICE. This was a weekend trip for my birthday, which is next weekend but which we took a couple of weeks early to further avoid tourists. Yes, Venice is TOURISTY. But I'm also kind of obsessed with it, and I feel that everyone should visit it once in his or her life. Below I will give some tips on how to enjoy your trip to Venice, should you go:
1. DO NOT GO IN THE SUMMER - This is key. KEY. Venice is really a puzzle of a city, because its both kind of a European Disneyland - in that its really set up for tourists now - and also a real city that still holds much of the beauty and majesty of its history intact. So its weird. Its breathtaking, but after more than 4 days there you will start to feel like its all for show. It's not really - there are still 60,000 residents in Venice proper - but that's down from a high of 350,000 in the 16th century, so yes, in some ways it is a ghost town populated by tourists. BUT, you can avoid this feeling if you go in the off season - try to avoid it from April through August - it is still very beautiful at other times of the year, and much more manageable.
2. STAY ON THE EDGES - Try NOT to stay near the Piazza San Marco, the major square that everyone goes to, or near the Rialto Bridge. These are the two big tourist attractions in the city, and while they are worth seeing, its better if you stay on the edges of the city, where it's cheaper and you have a chance to see some real Venetians going about their daily lives - We stayed in Dorsoduro, the south-western section, in a very nice Albergo for under 100euros a night. Another popular area is Cannaregio, north of the train station.
3. TAKE THE VAPORETTO, NOT THE GONDOLA - Yes, the gondola ride is very famous in Venice, and the canals are AMAZINGLY gorgeous - but gondola rides are expensive and touristy, and I recommend getting the same experience on Venice's vaporetto network - basically, the waterbus system - this is often the fastest way to get around Venice, since there are no cars, and while expensive-ish for public transport (6.50 a ride), its nowhere near upwards of 50 euros a gondola will set you back, and you get a very similar experience. vaporettos also go to theThethe various inhabited islands in the lagoon, which are also less touristy and fun to visit if you want a break from Venice proper.
4. DO GO TO MUSEUMS - Venice actually has amazing museums that are all very small and manageable - there's no Louvre or British Museum to overwhelm you here. Plus, there's an amazing variety - history, renaissance art, and modern art. We definitely recommend the Doge's Palace, which gives a great overview of the political life of Venice during the height of its power - though touristy, this is a great museum for getting to know the city you're walking around in. There's also a Guggenheim collection and several other modern art museums, and the Accademia, which has a wonderful collection of renaissance art.
5. ENJOY GETTING LOST - One of the most fun things to do in Venice is to just pick a direction, start walking, and get a little lost in the labyrinth of alleyways and canals. There are usually signs pointing you in the general direction of the Train station (Ferrovia) and the Rialto Bridge/Piazza San Marco, but you can also just wander around and see what you find. If you are a planner, its time to throw away the plan - though this can be difficult for some (including me) its really the best way to enjoy the city, just by following your nose. The most beautiful places in Venice are not the ones in the guidebooks - and even the ones in the guidebooks might be hard to find, since the map is so difficult to follow.
6. PLAN THE RESTAURANTS, THOUGH- As a tourist destination, Venice has a huge variety of restaurants - amazing to terrible, reasonable to stratospherically expensive. And its definitely a seafood city, so you should be prepared for calamari, squid ink pasta, and sardines. There is DELICIOUS food but it helps to plan and book ahead for dinner at least, since it can also fill up fast. Matt and I recommend BANCOGIRO near the Rialto for a romantic but not too fancy meal - in an old Renaissance building that used to be a bank!
Below are some pictures from our trip - I really recommend it for a weekend trip the next time you're in Europe!
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