For those of you who don't know the play, A DOLL'S HOUSE is a classic work about women's liberation that was first performed in 1879. In it, the aforementioned heroine goes from being a secure if somewhat infantilized wife and mother to walking out on her husband and children forever. When asked by her husband how she can abandon her most sacred duties of being a wife and mother, she famously replies: "I have another duty, which is equally sacred: my duty to myself."
Needless to say, this play was extremely explosive when it came out, and continues to provoke strong reactions in people, largely because Nora's choice at the end is so absolute and goes so deep. Even in our post-feminist age, when I think about the play I can't imagine doing what Nora does in the end, ever.
But. I have had a few Nora moments.
A Nora Moment is a moment when, as a wife and mother, you just want to get the hell away from your husband and child and be by yourself, possibly forever. A Nora moment is when you feel like you spent all day thinking and doing for others - and even though those others are the people you love the most in the world, you just don't remember who you are anymore, or what you want from life. But you desperately WANT to remember, and you know you were doing something before all this happened. A Nora moment is, I imagine, very similar to a Room of One's Own moment, though I've never read that book - I'm just going from the title.
I had one of these last night. Sophia is teething in a major way, and keeps waking up screaming even after big doses of Doliprane (French children's Tylenol). Matt is sick and also might be out of town for part of the upcoming week, the day care is having an emergency closure tomorrow, and I spent the day inside cooking - which I used to love and find very relaxing, but I just overdid it yesterday and ended up feeling like all I do is cook, wash dishes, and do laundry. And then at three in the morning Matt was very grumpy post-Sophia wake up, and said some grumpy things to me. And I was like: Get Me Out of Here! WHEN will I actually have an unbroken stretch of time to THINK!
I have a friend here who was on bedrest for the last three months of her pregnancy, and when her daughter was six months old, she took herself on an overnight to Chartres. Alone. I remember when she told me this, I was surprised! But as she explained it - I just needed one night to myself, morning when I could wake up when I wanted and have breakfast already waiting for me.
I have to say, though I didn't need this when Sophia was 6 months, I think I may need it now. Stay tuned - I talked this over with Matt and he said he would take Sophia so I could go away for the weekend by myself. "As long as you come back!" he said. Which of course I would. I love my little family. But sometimes you need a break in order to be true to yourself.
Wait until you have 2 :).
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