THE PARIS LETTER: The Problem with Dr.Seuss

One thing that happens a lot when you're an American learning to speak French is that you unwittingly make some kind of sexual joke without realizing it, and French people laugh at you. This is because just about every word in the French language is a double entendre, no surprise there. Some of my favorite examples:

The word for "line" is "queue" but intead of pronoucing this like the letter Q, as you would in England, you pronounce it "keuh" (I guess - its still hard for me). The word that sounds like the letter Q is "Cul" which is slang for "ass". So often I'd be asking some people outside the boulangerie Is this the ass? instead of Is this the line? Super awesome.

The word for "lower" is baisser, but the slang word for "to fuck" is baiser. Got that? Bahsay - lower; Bayzay - fuck. Yes, I've messed that one up so much that I try never to ask anyone to lower anything for me ever.

This brings me, interestingly enough, to Dr.Seuss, that children's classic author that basically does not exist in France. In large part, this is because its nearly impossible to translate his awesome rhymes into French - Usually, you end up with a literal translation:

Yes, that's Green Eggs and Ham in its literal French translation. They make a good effort to translate the book into rhyming French, but its just hard - for lots of reason, but mostly because these need to be easy readers,  so you can't really reach far for a synonym.

BUT, another, perhaps lesser known reason why Dr.Seuss isn't read much in France - The name Seuss sounds the same as "Suce" which means "suck" which .... yes you guessed it....is slang for blowjob.

So one American friend of mine was telling her French husband about getting some Dr.Seuss books for their daughter, and her husband turned to her, horrified.

"Our daughter is not reading anything by someone named 'Seuss'!" he said.

Interestingly enough, there's a company here in Paris that specializes in digging holes in streets - for electrical work, etc - that call their trucks "Les Suceuses de Ouest". Yes, that means "the suckers of the West" but also....well, you get the idea. And the trucks are all PINK and have women's names. I believe one of them is even called Monica if you can believe that.

Yes! That's their ad! Its a winking elephant and the caption says "Janine, Monica, Linda and the others are ready to help you out whenever you want." Oy. 

Here's a pic of one of them on my street recently. The French, still not super up to date on the whole women's rights thing...
 

Our Best Paris Dinner Spot: Le Verre Vole

Wow, I almost don't want to post this because its really our favorite spot. This is very Parisian of me, actually - its hard to pry "les bonnes adresses" out of the folks in this town, they're always so worried that the place will be discovered and then they'll never get in again. Which I guess is a legitimate concern, we've all had places that we loved that became so popular we could no longer love them (Momofuku Ssam Bar comes to mind here...)

Matt loves Le Verre Vole!

BUT here's what a French person will do that an American probably wouldn't do - when asked point blank "Where did you get your hair cut?" or "Where did you find that amazing scarf?", or even - and of course - "Where did you buy this amazing baguette?", Parisians will have no qualms totally evading a straight answer if they don't want to tell you "Oh, around. Just some place in my neighborhood. Over that way (waving vaguely in a direction) - But you WILL NOT pry an actual address out of them if its a favorite they want to keep as their secret.

Whereas, an American would proudly tell you just where they got their haircut, and how much it cost, sometimes even before you ask.

So I'm torn about telling you about this place, because it is really something special and its CHEAP. But will I still be able to get a reservation once I've posted this? We shall see.

Delicious Orsin, or French sea urchin

LE VERRE VOLE
62 Rue de Lancry
75010 Paris
Open for lunch and dinner every day
+33 (0)1 48 03 17 34

Le Verre Vole is a wine bar specializing in natural wines, which they serve with a variety of seasonal small plates and a couple of nightly main dishes. Its small, sometimes cramped, and still very groovy, just on the edge of the Canal Saint Martin. And, all importantly, its open on Sunday nights, one of the hardest nights to find a decent place to eat in Paris. When it opened a few years back, it was THE place to be, though now trendier bistros have eclipsed it and its easier to book a table - it still does good business, but its not the center of attention it once was, which I personally am happy about.

Beet & Goat Cheese salad and Ceviche Salad

We usually load up on the appetizers (confusingly called entrées in French), which often include much seafood and organ meats in interesting combinations. Oh, yes - this isn't a good restaurant for you if you're a vegetarian or have other dietary restrictions. One of the best things on the menu by far is the boudin noir, or blood sausage, served with mashed potatoes and salad, and somewhere between a meatloaf and a paté. We get it just about every time we go, a French heart attack on a plate. If this doesn't sound good to you, maybe this isn't the restaurant for you (see, there's a chance it won't get super crowded after all!)

But, if you're an adventurous eater and enjoy trying wines from small, interesting French vineyards, this is a great place. The staff will recommend the wines based on your preferences, and its good if you speak a little French - though the staff can get by in English, you'll get more out of it if you've got a French speaker with you. The nice part about it is that you'll usually get out for around 50 Euros a person, including wine, and feel very well cared for and well fed.

So far, we've been able to book a few days in advance and been just fine...

I believe this was homemade headcheese....delicious...

THE PARIS LETTER: What We Ate In Paris, Takeout Edition

Ah, Paris - I love you, but you have got to get a handle on your food delivery. How can a city with such amazing food be so shitty at delivering it to your apartment?

One of the great joys of the week we spent in New York this summer was ordering a different kind of takeout food every night. One night Indian, one night sushi, one night Thai food, all delicious, inexpensive, and to the door of our fourth floor walkup in less than an hour. Often also available for order online. The ability to order a variety of delicious food fast actually may be one of my favorite things about New York.

Sushi Shop Paris delivery - Lots of packaging style

Because, see, we are new parents. When we travel, we don't go out to eat anymore. We order takeout to our apartment or hotel room and scarf it down while the baby sleeps. And so a lot of times, our enjoyment of a place is linked to the quality of the food we can order to our hotel room.

Sadly, Paris ain't so great at this. The whole concept of delivery is still pretty new here. The two times we ordered in, once Indian and once Thai, both in our first year of living here, were both such disasters both in quality of food and delivery time (over an hour for unrecognizable cold food), we never did it again.

But again, we're new parents. And we are tired a lot. One night, when neither of us felt like cooking, Matt threw up his hands in frustration. You know what we never do here? he said - Just order a pizza for delivery. To which I said "But sweetie, that's because the only pizza that delivers in Paris is Dominos (True!).

The Starbucks of sushi!- though I do like the little bottles of soy sauce.

However, we decided not to give up! There must be some good takeout in this city somewhere, right?.

Here are some pics of our first attempt: delivery from SushiShop, what I like to call The Starbucks of Paris Sushi.

By which I mean, its fine. Totally acceptable. And, like Starbucks, there are many branches in Paris and they all seem to churn out the same level of quality. By which I mean, mediocre. But not BAD.

And this has become my standard for delivery sushi now: Reasonably tasty, reasonably fresh, reasonably priced. If you can pull that off here in Paris, I'm yours. And SushiShop allows ordering online as well. Like so many Paris sushi restaurants, you're really only going to get salmon and tuna, and maybe a little cooked shrimp. But seriously, after being starved for good sushi for two years, I'm cool with it.

Plus, of course because it's Parisian, the packaging was all sleek, chic and sexy. Personally, I'd go for more options and less sexy packaging - but that must be the New Yorker in me talking. She's still in there somewhere.

THE PARIS LETTER: New York's Best Werewolf-Themed Organic Wraps

I tried to incorporate WolfNights into another post about all the awesome takeout that we ordered in New York, but I realized that it really needs its own post. Its not every day you find a werewolf-themed organic wrap shop, especially one whose wraps are so tasty.

So here's the deal. If you're on the Lower East Side and in need of lunch, I recommend these guys. I was walking by on my way back from Soho, looking for a place to pick up some food for Matt and I, when I saw this place and knew I had to go in. Here, check out the website, I'll wait:

So beyond the fact that all the sandwiches have names like "The Howling", and beyond the fact that you can add a "Wolf Attack" to your sandwich for an extra charge, this place actually has good ideas. They make all the dough for the wraps and then cook your wrap tortilla thing to order on one of those domed cast-iron griddles -- Ahah! I've just looked it up and it's called a "saj" and is used for making Middle Eastern flat breads:

Or, also Werewolf Themed Sandwich Wraps. If you're on the Lower East Side, you know. Center of global fusion sandwich cuisine!

So here's what's in The Howling sandwich:

Chicken wrapped in date and pumpkin seed dough, with fried pickle, feta, melon, mint, and yogurt sauce.

Dude, that shit was GOOD. An initially strange combo but the mix of pickle/feta/chicken/melon was amazing. In general, everything at this place is incredibly creative and - at least in our admittedly small taste test of two sandwiches - delicious. And pretty cheap.

Oh, and a Wolf Attack is tater tots with melted cheese, jalepeno, grilled onions and Wolf meat sauce, whatever that is. Look, its the Lower East Side. There's a lotta drunk people around.

Wolfnights, 99 Rivington Street, New York, NY 10002 917-261-5266

UNDERWORLD: Meatballs with cashews and goat cheese. And tater tots, of course

THE PARIS LETTER: Where is my mind?

Oh god, you guys. How is it October already - and mid October at that?

Being a parent sucks sometimes. Time just slips away from you. I feel like I lost the entire month of September to a whirlwind of daycare/nanny share/illness/general administrative tasks and all those lovely plans I had for a productive fall got lost in a black hole. Or maybe I moved to a parallel universe where time is speeded up.

But I've decided not to wallow in this and just try to get on with things. Which may involve curbing my natural long-windedness in these posts in favor of actually getting them up. We'll see how that one goes.

Stay tuned! More European tips coming up -

So what's happening right now? Sophia is 11 months old, which boggles my mind. She's standing up on her own and trying to walk. Its been raining for the last two weeks and I've discovered Paris's fabulous public indoor play spaces, which I'll describe in an upcoming post. Also coming up - we try to replicate the fabulous takeout food experience we had in New York this summer here in Paris - with decidedly mixed results. I explain my new dinner-in-under-an-hour menu planning. Its like Rachel Ray but by way of France - and just way better. Oh, and we spent a lovely and relaxing weekend in Brussels with Sophia, a great city because you feel no pressure to see any famous sights. I've got a new piece coming up in Slate on childcare in France, packed with as many stats as I could fit into 1500 words and still be somewhat amusing. And we've got lots of news from the summer travels all over the USA, including my reviews of yoga studios in 6 different cities and tips on how to fly both internationally and domestically with a baby strapped to you. Stay tuned...